A couple of months ago, I lost my voice. Totally and completely.
Off I went to urgent care, assuming my usual cortisone shot would work, as it had instantly worked in the past, and my voice would miraculously return. That never happened, and for the first time in my career, I had to cancel several presentations.
I was mortified.
No amount of willpower or determination could fix this. The ENT (Ear, Nose & Throat) doctor said my larynx was swollen and that the only cure was time and vocal rest. Simply put, the prescription was to STOP TALKING.
So, for an entire week, no phone conversations, no meetings, no in-person chatting. For someone like me, who speaks for a living and is constantly engaged in verbal communication, it felt like punishment.
But then something miraculous happened.
I started to listen. Really listen to everything and everyone around me. Because I knew it would damage my voice if I responded verbally,
I no longer assumed the role of facilitator or host during social interactions. I observed.
The longer this went on, the more I realized how much I spoke to interrupt an awkward silence or to speak for the sake of it.
During one interaction, I watched people speak over each other and not really listen to what anyone else was saying.
In my keynotes and workshops, I often talk about the power of intentional, or active, listening and how powerful a tool this skill is in masterful communication. And the concept is hardly revelatory. But as we all know, it is one thing to know about something and another to actually apply it.
My ailment forced me into application.
What I gained was a powerful reminder that observing and listening has enormous value. It also reminded me that we take our health so much for granted. As Janis Joplin famously said, “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”
Another thing I learned is the value of building mutually reciprocal relationships because both programs I had to cancel graciously rescheduled because of the relationship I had with my clients.
I am happy to say my voice has returned, but what hasn’t returned is my habit of talking at every given opportunity.
And perhaps that is the real lesson.
In a world where we are constantly encouraged to speak up, speak out, and make ourselves heard, sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is stop talking.
Because when we listen more intentionally, we:
Become better communicators because we actually hear what people are saying rather than simply waiting for our turn to speak.
Build stronger relationships because people feel seen, heard, and valued when we give them our full attention.
Become more effective leaders because listening helps us understand different perspectives, ask better questions, and make better decisions.
And, perhaps most importantly, we create space for others to contribute.
So the next time you feel compelled to fill an awkward silence, interrupt, or jump in with your two cents, try something different.
Pause. Observe. Listen.
You might be surprised by what you hear, and by the impact you can have when you don’t say a word.